Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The More Pro-Liver Beverage

Uncle Sam is like a man who, after a lifetime of hard drinking, now has a serious liver problem.  Tonight he has a choice of beverages:  a bottle of whiskey, a six-pack of beer, or a bottle of ginger ale. 

6pack Duff Beer

I am told that it is unrealistic to ask him to drink the ginger ale.  He hasn't touched the stuff in well over a hundred years, drinking only whiskey and beer.  If I ask him to drink the ginger ale, I am one fewer voice asking him to drink beer; they tell me this is "just like" asking him to drink whiskey.

Our uncle didn't get his liver disorder overnight, and he has plenty of other things wrong with him that might kill him before his liver completely fails, but still:  the beer might kill him more slowly than the whiskey would, and it might be the most "pro-liver" beverage he is likely to agree to drink, but it still contains the same poison as the whiskey, and it will also kill him.


  1. I'd still tell him to drink the ginger ale.

  2. Well, wait, let's not be too hasty here. If the whiskey is, say, Michter's 10 yo rye, there are worse ways to go.

  3. I regret to say that the choices now available are all store brand -- specifically, "Sam's Choice". Going down in one last burst of excellence is not an available option.